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Phil's Blog - Day 1,596

2007-10-16T22:45:00.000+01:00

It's been a ludicrous fortnight.

For some reason, Bosch and Smeg kept ringing my agent asking for some form representation on the Campaign. Not sure why in the slightest.

I've been busy auditioning the supporters who will be taking part in Phil's Kitchen. It was nice to see all the old regulars and extended family again. Of course there's going to be some delay before they get to go on air - we've been having to screen all potential contestants with psychometric testing, extended interviews, lie detectors and CRB checks to make sure none of that lot on the Mirror Forum get through. In fact I might take a leaf out of the Portuguese police's book and get Eddie and Keela to selectively sniff out those brown nosers for the show.

Anyway, I've come up with some great dishes I'd like to try, and I hope Kate and Gerry's supporters will be able to get their minds around to some baking rather than simply steaming all the time. I'm looking forward to such delights as poulet entier au brioche, bol massif de gruau and my current favourite bifteck de chien de renifleur en sauce à piments.

Now, in response to viewers comments about the absence of any mention of jogging activities on my blog, I can assure you all that this shortcoming will be corrected in the near future - I'm still waiting for Adidas to get enough breathable fabric together for my exclusive outfit. It will have the Fund McCann logo on the back in order to raise awareness of the Campaign here in the UK. Once my sweatsuit is riveted together you can be absolutely certain I will be blogging about my latest 200 yard dash.

Another reason I've not been able to blog as often as I'd like is because I've been ludicrously busy behind the scenes working with Kate and Gerry and the Tapas User & Restaurant Diners Official Promotion Centre to develop a major European wide alert system. This important initiative, based in Praia de Luz, will use all existing communication channels to send a multilingual announcement in order to notify parents when Happy Hour is available at their local eatery.

By providing a form of alcoholic respite for busy and stressed hard-working middle class parents, from some of the difficult and thankless tasks that life involves, such as looking after one's own children, or perhaps keeping them entertained on a family holiday, these pressured professionals should be able to cope a whole lot better. In this way, the alert system provided by the Tapas User & Restaurant Diners Official Promotion Centre should improve the welfare of all children throughout Europe and the UK. I'm so glad that Kate and Gerry continue to lead the world as first class parents in the important issue of child welfare.

And now a disappointing bit of news. Unfortunately the entire McCann family did not pick up a single award at the Pride of Britain ceremony last week. Instead the awards went to a series of unknowns famous for merely saving a few lives here and there. Their acts of bravery, well, acts is the right word to use here, are no match for the thousands of children's lives that will be saved by Fund McCann's extensive range of international child welfare campaigns.

Never mind, hopefully our Campaign Manager should be able to get our deposits back. No, I shouldn't say should. I should say will. Having said that, if she can't get the money back, we'll have to send in the McCann Mercenaries™ to collect. With the fund dropping down to eight figures again, it's important I can tell you.

Finally a comment about the case - it's a real shame that this naughty crime is still not solved. Madeleine must be really missing us by now. Kate says she's probably giving her abductor a real ear bashing right now. She's a true McCann that girl.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,593

2007-09-27T21:48:00.000+01:00

Another busy week. Once again, I'm sorry for not keeping you all up to date with the Campaign, but I have been very busy behind the scenes with Angus and some celebrity chefs.

I've just had a hellish week trying to persuade Kate she could run the Red Team and Gerry could run the Blue Team. Kate kept going on about wanting to run the Green Team and Gerry could have a Yellow Team. I said, look don't be ridiculous, Phil's Kitchen has standards to uphold here. We've got to give the viewers what they've come to expect. And anyway, I said, this green and yellow carry-on is getting a bit tired now.

Anyway, we're now auditioning for supporters who'll be willing to work under Kate and Gerry's expert and world renowned supervision and care to produce a range of delectable dishes for our regular celebrities. The winning contestant will be able to accept the fantastic top prize of Maître d' at Kate and Gerry's new Tapas Restaurant New Horizons in Praia da Luz. This is another exciting venture that Fund McCann is counting on to keep the Campaign in everyone's minds. Hopefully, a global restaurant chain is in the offing. We may even make the restaurants child-friendly, but the directors are still arguing over that minor point.

Anyway, after a bit of a spat with Oliveira da Serra in Portugal over media rights, we've had to try and get a deal with Filippo Berio for sponsorship of Phil's Kitchen. Never mind, I like old Filippo's catchy theme tune better anyway. In any case, if the worse comes to worst, we can always stick to one of my favourites, good old goose fat.

I'm now working with some telecommunications companies to sort out the phone lines for taking the potentially hundreds of millions of votes for Kate and Gerry's contestants. I'm concerned that it should all be above board and kosher, but then again, Fund McCann's financial backers should be able to cope with any record breaking fine that Ofcom could land us with. Of course, I forgot to say, all proceeds from the votes will go to Fund McCann to promote the Campaign.

I'm really looking forward to becoming a regular in Phil's Kitchen - I mean, someone's got to keep the gastronomic standards up to a high level, and those experimental undercooked dishes shouldn't go to waste. In fact, my table and three chairs are already booked for the rest of the month.

I am also pleased to report that the whole McCann family and entourage has been nominated for the Pride of Britain Awards for the entire award category. There's Kate up for the Outstanding Bravery award after facing terrible ordeals at the hands of the Portuguese police; then there's Sean and Amelie for being Children of Courage for enduring the Kids Club on a daily basis for, what is it, now four years running; there's brother John nominated for the Beyond the Call of Duty award for giving up his day job to direct the Fund.

Then, of course, there's me a clear favourite for the Teacher award; Gerry has been nominated several times for the Fundraiser award; our good friend Mark Williams-Thomas is up for the Carer and Neighbour award and finally, but by no means least, Kate and Gerry's holiday friends have all been put forward for the Lifetime Achievement Award for the selfless act of maintaining confidentiality for so long in the face of such extreme provocation.

Please continue to submit your nominations as detailed in the email you should all have received as part of my latest spam campaign.

Finally, a word about the case. Ludicrous.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,586

2007-09-24T21:06:00.000+01:00

Right, it's now getting a bit serious. Madeleine's been missing for some time now. It's time for the person who knows what happened to my niece to come clean and tell us what happened to Madeleine. Look, it's still not too late to drop her off at the nearest restaurant and we'll forget everything.

I've been so upset, I've not eaten anything for at least three hours today. And you know that's unusual for me because I've been working as hard as the Portuguese police with my two hour lunches.

And talking about the Portuguese police - Gerry is his usual jolly self again - he's telling me the police have nothing concrete on him. Our Susan, Kate's mum, said that was such a shame because concrete would so suit Gerry.

You will have seen in the news all this talk about Kate and her student days. To be honest, I've been very disappointed that the irresponsible press have been digging about again - I mean we all drank too much and got overdrawn when we were younger didn't we? At least nowadays for Kate and Gerry, there's no chance of being in the red again, rather, there's now an excellent choice between red or white.

Back to the Campaign now. Just thinking back to my schedule of busy meetings last week, and how the Campaign would be able to benefit hugely from the help of that great philanthropist, Sir Richard, has just reminded me - I forgot to tell you about my new bottom wipes promotion.

There'll be special packs available in the shops soon, offering a free Madeleine T-shirt upon the collection of only 75 tokens (1 token available per pack). And I'm especially pleased to report that Pampers have even agreed to change the name of their product temporarily to McCanndoo. Such a promotion will be ideal in helping people to remember, on a daily basis, about the terrible situation that Kate and Gerry find themselves in with the Portuguese police.

And finally, some of you will remember the enormous 10 metre wide inflatable billboard made for us by News of the World. It was extremely useful for us to be able to raise awareness of Madeleine in Portugal as not many people would have known about the abduction. I mean, the number of people on the beach who just stared at the billboard was just, well, just phenomenal. That must say something about the strength of the Campaign.

Well, after talking to The Sun, I think I've come up with one better with a great idea for two huge airships with Madeleine's photo displayed prominently on one side and the website address for donations on the other.

I am going to be hosting an open party in Glasgow, attended by the international media, where my twin zeppelins will be unveiled to the world. And The Sun has even suggested that they promote the special event on their hallowed third page. I hope you can come.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,579

2007-09-20T07:15:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry it's been some time since my last blog entry, but it's been such a tumultuous week. Rather hectic too.

It was great to hear from the Home Secretary today.

I had a long chat with her and I was glad to hear strong words of support from the government for our Campaign. We also arranged for the newly appointed Minister for Child Protection to meet with me in the near future to discuss my ideas for improving the dreadful state of child welfare in this country and abroad. It will be so nice to see brother John again soon.

It's absolutely ridiculous that children can't look after themselves nowadays - I blame the playgroups and schools for this problem. There should be compulsory fire training and cardio-pulmonary resuscitation taught to our youngsters from the age of 18 months. It might also be helpful to teach them to recognise harmful medications and drugs - I'm thinking here of the educational benefits of learning different colours, letters of the alphabet and shapes and sizes of course.

My radical and thought provoking ideas on education clearly influenced the Minister, and the meeting concluded with a promise from the Home Secretary that the Prime Minister would consider me for the post of Minister for Education when this case is finally over. I look forward to making these meetings a regular monthly affair.

I had a surprise later that afternoon when Sir Richard popped over for tea. I had a lovely chat about the Campaign and his continuing contribution to the Fighting Fund. And I'm so pleased that the direct debit setup was such a success. It's nice to have the support of yet another self-made billionaire to add to our panel of mostly anonymous financiers, backers and opinion shapers.

I offered to meet him in London for further talks, perhaps with a free all expenses paid and free meals journey on one of his fantastic Virgin Pendolino trains, but rather disappointingly he said that the extra tilt caused by my presence might take the train off the tracks at high speeds. I guess it will have to be mince and tatties at my place every time then.

My agent received some more calls that evening, and I am pleased to say that I am now also involved with Listerine Industrial Flavour Mouthwash, Sure Extra Strong for Groin & Under Arm and Boots Authentic Activated Charcoal Tablets for the Seriously Afflicted. Expect to see me in some great TV spots in the next few months promoting the Campaign with these important partners.

And now finally another word about the case - there's been a lot of talk about the entire McCann family having their phones tapped and emails and computers looked at - well I can tell you, there's no bugs in my house - where I'm sat, I can't see that there would be anything left other than a squashed mosquito or two.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,572

2007-09-17T06:40:00.000+01:00

Spent a busy day today on a photoshoot for Hello Magazine.

I think it's ideal that I can promote the Campaign in this way, and raise awareness of the plight of the whole McCann family. Of course, all the proceeds of this triple page Hello spread will go to the Fighting Fund.

And spread was the operative word here, I daresay I may have inadvertently exposed a little bit more midriff than I would have normally been happy with on the photoshoot, but the dishy photographer was just going on and praising us McCanns for doing such a lovely job at keeping the Campaign in everyone's minds. I guess I got a little carried away. It's so good to get some positive feedback at least once or twice a week in a difficult situation like this.

Well, I got a call later that afternoon from the Hello print production company saying that the edition might be delayed for a few weeks whilst they order in some more supplies of pink coloured ink. Anyway, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.

Our McCann Media Monitoring Unit (MMMU) has again been hard at work in the background, and initiated some great online petitions in recent days, and I hope that the caring, kind, considerate and above all, compassionate folk out there will take the time to sign these important statements.

I'd like to firstly draw your attention to the most important petition of all - the Ginsters All I Can Eat Petition, aimed at keeping me well supplied with some real honest food from Cornwall. Believe me, I keep telling my family, there's a desperate shortage of real honesty this day and age.

Then there's the PJ are Imbeciles Petition; if enough people sign this petition, it will be used to convince our government that we believe the Portuguese police are nothing but a bunch of French Clouseaus and to sway our government to use EU legislation to disband the Portuguese police completely.

Finally, we have the No More Photos Petition, a petition to stop the unscrupulous international media from taking intrusive and disturbing pictures of those two fragile young beings in the prime of their lives, thrust awkwardly into the limelight through absolutely no fault of their own. And please, no more photographs of Sean and Amelie either. Of course, the British media can take as many pictures as it wants. Fine by us.

And I finish with another word about the Campaign. There has been much criticism of late about the family not actively searching for Madeleine. Well, I would say to these ill-informed heartless and cruel animals, us McCanns have all been very active in the Campaign, I myself would be out there now, travelling the world, sticking posters everywhere, searching high and low for my beloved niece, if only I could get out of the front door. I'm sure it's shrunk since I moved in.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,568

2007-09-13T06:33:00.000+01:00

I'm pleased to report that Fund McCann will be launching two new funds today to help with the Campaign.

Now let me see, firstly there's the Fighting Fund, to help Kate and Gerry pay their mounting costs - there's so many QCs, lawyers, forensic scientists and pathologists now that it's difficult to keep track of them. Also a new sub police force has now been established by Fund McCann. Now all of that is not going to be cheap you know. You will remember that the idea of a band of loyal coppers was first mentioned by Gerry last month at his fourth consecutive attendance of the National Police Federation Annual Bravery awards. They're a good bunch there at the Police Federation. At least these policemen know how to recognise a truly caring parent from some sort of common criminal.

The McCann Mercenaries™ will now be providing round the clock protection for Kate and Gerry. The Portuguese and British police will have to liaise with our personal police force if they want to confiscate anything from now on.

Then there's the Fashion Fund. The proceeds from this fund will help keep Kate and myself supplied with the latest green and yellow outfits from all the major fashion houses - Versace, Armani, Benneton and Primark. Expect Fund McCann to give all you keen eyed viewers a taster of what will be coming off the catwalks this Autumn. On a personal note, my initial foray into the fashion world with Evans has drawn yet more attention. I am very proud to announce that I will soon be the premier model for Army & Navy Surplus Stores (Tents and Tarpaulins Division) and also the new face of Swarfega. Next week I am due to start a major global advertising campaign for Spam Fritters. Obviously the proceeds from such activities will go directly towards the Campaign.

And now a word about the case again - it is both painfully plain and plainly painful to see that the Portuguese police are floundering in their investigation of Kate and Gerry - all this completely wild speculation and vile talk is taking the focus of the Campaign away from the focus of the Campaign. And it doesn't help Madeleine either. The police are clutching at straws, planting evidence, casting aspersions, mud slinging and generally being a thorn in everyone's side - I mean that's clearly our job.

And contrary to what is being posted on many internet forums, I will not be appearing on The X Factor any time soon - the case is far from over. Such comments are unhelpful at this time.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,560

2007-09-11T20:09:00.000+01:00

Another busy day today.

Spent a good few hours on TV this morning - GMTV, This Morning, Sky and CBeebies. In fact, I filmed a nice 30 second TV spot for CBeebies - the wee toddlers can never be too young to be warned about being snatched by evil abductors. It went so well that I've been asked back to do an extended Jackanory Junior reading that famous classic 'Not Now, Bernard'; interestingly the story has been specially rewritten to include Mediterranean elements and parents who like fine dining.

Anyway, my extended coverage on TV refuting the absolutely ludicrous speculation about Kate and Gerry actually led to some complaints from viewers. Sky and BBC News 24 had to flash up banners on the screen saying that viewers' television sets weren't developing widescreen faults, it was just me sat a bit too close to the camera. I'm sorry for that.

On that note, it is pleasing to report that I will soon be modelling Evans' new XXXXL collection for their Spring/Summer catalogue. My agent got a call this afternoon with the good news. Kate will be spending some of her not insignificant free time to design some new ranges for the fashion store, featuring the now famous Fund McCann logo. I am so looking forward to promoting the Campaign in this way.

And now a small word about the case - when I heard about Sniffa Dogs and Kate last week I thought what on earth is she doing with some black rap star? I know she likes a bop but this is absolutely ludicrous. When someone from The Sun told me what it meant I was shocked - I mean sniffer dogs! How can you trust such vile animals to smell anything when they need to shove their noses so close to each other's bottoms? Barking.

Phil's Blog - Day 1,558

2007-09-09T20:30:00.000+01:00

Ludicrous. Ludicrous. Ludicrous. L-u-d-i-c-r-o-u-s. That is definitely going to be this week's word in class today. I will be ensuring that Calum at Infohost will be running it through the spellchecker to make sure that it's spelled properly on the website.

Sorry, this is Phil McCann here, taking on the role as official mouthpiece of Fund McCann. I've had to step in at the last minute to brief the world on the latest developments of the Campaign. It's a bit difficult fitting in this blogging between all the TV appearances, but I'm sure Highland County Council will approve my request for extended compassionate leave for what is going to be a really tremendous responsibility.

It was also rather difficult to see Gerry actually shed a tear today. It reminds me of the other time he cried since Madeleine was abducted; the lost wallet incident in London is still vividly etched in my mind. I can still remember him ringing me that afternoon, roaring like a bull, screaming, "They've taken it!" I said, "Calm down, Gerry, what do you mean? Madeleine's gone already." How I laughed when he told me it was just his wallet. But I can understand him crying though - the Fund is so important to him these days.

Anyway, the latest developments are absolutely ludicrous and ultimately distract from the aims of the Campaign to find Madeleine - the little mite's been a bit lost for the last few days. I may make further comment on the case as soon as Sky News give me another ring.

Just a word for the detractors - yes, you know who you are - this blog is to keep people visiting the website up to date with our progress in the campaign to find Madeleine. So it will continue, thank you very much.

Campaign Manager's Blog - Day 1,550

2007-09-09T11:38:00.000+01:00

As mentioned, both Kate and Gerry are rather busy at the moment, and so Gerry's Blog will unfortunately be unavailable for the foreseeable future.

We will however be continuing to keep our loyal readers updated with the latest news of the Campaign to raise awareness with a series of guest blogs from our extensive network of business contacts and relatives in Fund McCann.

Please stay logged onto the website for the next instalment of exciting news in the form of Phil's Blog - coming soon!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,547

2007-09-08T09:25:00.000+01:00

An interesting day today. As all of you know there were some rather ludicrous developments in the case yesterday.

The resulting increased media presence was rather unhelpful and interfered with our afternoon run along the coast. Reports that we were nearing the Spanish border were pure speculation, as evidenced by our return to McCann Village late evening, just in time to put the twins to bed.

Kate and I will now be taking a rather active but behind the scenes role in the Campaign.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,546

2007-09-07T06:32:00.000+01:00

Today has been another difficult day.

It is heartening that the Portuguese police have worked so hard in this case, however it is disappointing that the case has still not been solved. It is upsetting that the list of suspects is now up to 87 without any arrests having been made. The twins are now rather weary of enduring one lineup after another without any tangible benefit.

Kate and I attended the police station today in Portimao for our monthly meeting. We had expected to present them with our latest poster collection featuring the most recent photographs of Madeleine dating back to 2007.

It was shocking to discover that the police wanted to talk to both of us about recent developments of the case. In addition, the police were requesting separate interviews. Such actions are unwelcome at this stage and detract from the essence of the Campaign.

Rather unexpectedly, my palpitations returned and I was rushed off to hospital. Of course, Kate needed to be by my bedside for the major part of the day and as an unfortunate consequence the interviews were cancelled. I was lucky enough to have my medical colleagues on hand to help me through my latest ordeal. Clearly those regular holiday breaks for friends and family have had some benefit.

Our Campaign Manager will shortly be contacting the Portuguese police to inform them of the need to book any further appointments through our QC. We look forward to our next meeting with the Portuguese police in about six months time.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,541

2007-09-04T06:54:00.000+01:00

Another fairly quiet and unimportant day, spent largely with the twins who had a planned day off from the Kids Club. Just to hear their voices reminds me so much of how they sound and even gives me a mental picture of what they look like.

Later that evening, for a short time, I talked to Kate, my wife. She’s lovely.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,539

2007-09-03T21:09:00.000+01:00

Nothing much to report today. Kate and I sold some wristbands to holidaymakers shopping at the local supermarket.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,534

2007-09-02T10:01:00.000+01:00

We are pleased to report that Fund McCann has been successful in its bid to operate the National Lottery and Euromillions. This was as a result of an unprecedented decision by the National Lottery Commission (NLC) to prematurely end Camelot’s third consecutive 10 year term within the next three years in favour of Fund McCann.

Clearly the substantial 9 figure sum banked by Fund McCann, highlighting the very success of our Campaign, backed by the billions in corporate sponsorship, came some way to convincing the NLC that Fund McCann represented a viable and commercial enterprise to take the lottery to new levels for another 10 years.

Fund McCann is already developing some innovative lottery marketing materials that will support the Campaign and continue to raise awareness for the next decade. Don’t be surprised to see Madeleine’s image on scratch cards throughout the UK and the rest of Europe!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,522

2007-09-01T07:53:00.000+01:00

Today started out as a rather upsetting day for me but luckily ended on a happy note. I always had plans to return to my prestigious post as a Consultant Cardiologist at Glenfield Hospital. The tremendous support I have had from medical colleagues and the general public has always been invaluable in supporting Kate and I through our loss. My extended sick pay and specially negotiated compassionate leave financial package also helped us to cope with the difficult years since the Campaign started.

It therefore came as a shock that some four years on, those same colleagues expressed their views in a vote of no confidence in my return to my former post. The letter arrived just as Kate and I were about to leave the twins for our early morning run. With it came a bulky petition signed by 124,000 members of the public expressing the same concern. Such views are unwelcome and do not help in our search for Madeleine. We would prefer those many thousands of people to devote their efforts to searching for our daughter rather than focussing on our own actions at this time.

Receiving such bad news had a terrible effect on both Kate and I, and we only managed to complete our five mile run around McCann Village after a very disappointing 67 minutes. I was personally so troubled that I had difficulty finishing my six course gourmet dinner later that day.

Fortunately those phone calls with my good friend the Prime Minister have proved their worth, as I later received news that the post of Chief Medical Officer would be made available to me if and when I decide to return to the UK.

This post will be ideal for me as I feel I am in an excellent position to be able to promote key public health concerns and stimulate debate on clinical and quality issues affecting the UK and, by consequence, the international medical community.

I am now making some further enquires as Kate has indicated a wish to take up the post of Deputy Chief Medical Officer, with a special interest in child welfare, if and when she returns to the UK. Together we will be a formidable team leading UK Medicine and the general public into an era of heightened awareness of child protection and public health issues.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,518

2007-08-31T06:33:00.000+01:00

We are entering the planned quieter phase in our Campaign, however plans to tour Europe in our McCann Expedition Vehicle are continuing to be finalised. Despite having been specially custom built for us by Winnebago Industries, our vehicle is a rather modest affair contrary to what was reported in the Portuguese press. Rumours of the 2011 modified Vectra model containing a 50” plasma TV, 430 litre drinks fridge and 18” disco ball are completely unsubstantiated. Fund McCann would never have a need for a television in excess of 42” for its media campaign.

We hope to start our European tour next year, after Kate has undertaken her HGV training.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,515

2007-08-30T07:43:00.001+01:00

Another quiet day today. Our monthly meeting with the Portuguese police went well. We used the opportunity to provide the police with some brand new wristbands, for a nominal fee of course. It was reassuring that the police still do not consider Kate and I as suspects, as they clearly have no evidence against us. It is heartening that this will allow the Campaign to continue its steadfast course in continuing to raise awareness of our missing daughter, Madeleine.

With regards to the Campaign, we are now seeking suggestions on how we can take the Campaign into Antarctica. Our advisors tell us that unfortunately, awareness of the Campaign is still at a very low level, on what is significantly the fifth largest continent in the world.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,505

2007-08-28T16:50:00.000+01:00

We have now had over 20,000 messages of support and requests for Cuddle Cat to be made available for purchase on the online store. Despite the apparent lack of any action from Fund McCann, our team has, in fact, been very hard at work in the background and it has taken some time for all the necessary elements to come together. We have been working closely with Hasbro, TomTom and NASA to bring you not only a child's toy, but also the latest technological developments in promoting child welfare and safety.

If all goes to plan, the online store will soon be selling a special version of Cuddle Cat which includes a GPS chip and panic alarm. This should prove helpful in tracking abducted children around the world.

If Cuddle Cat GPS ever leaves the proximity of your child, or for example, if Cuddle Cat GPS should be carelessly thrown somewhere it shouldn't be, the built-in accelerometer triggers a remarkably loud 130 dB panic alarm. This noise is sufficiently loud to be heard over the sound of restaurant music and general raucous adults only entertainment. Enhanced satellite technology enables your child to be tracked anywhere in the world using your nearest in-car navigation system. We expect that all hire cars will also be fitted with satellite navigation systems as standard in the future to accommodate this exciting feature of Cuddle Cat GPS.

We are seeking final approval for CE marking and our loyal group of MEPs are currently pushing through special export subsidies, so that Fund McCann will be able to market Cuddle Cat GPS not just in Europe, but also in the aggressive Chinese and American economies.

We are pleased to say that, despite this whole episode having been somewhat traumatic for us, some good can come out of Madeleine's favourite cuddly toy for the benefit of the entire world and its children.

An optional speed safety camera module is being developed for those times when Cuddle Cat GPS travels in the car. It is heartening that Fund McCann can lead not only in the field of child welfare, but also excel in the important area of traffic safety for the benefit of the entire world and its passengers and pedestrians.

Cuddle Cat GPS will be available from all good retailers, priced £149.99.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,502

2007-08-26T16:26:00.000+01:00

It was heartening to know that the events marking the 1,500th day went very well, even though we had to cancel the celebratory party that Madeleine's Uncle John had worked so hard for over the last six months. Unfortunately, our catering supplier could not meet the modest demands for alcoholic beverages that befitted a party of this stature. Needless to say, we are now using several chalets in McCann Village for storage purposes in order to prevent such an occurrence in the future.

As had always been planned, we are now entering a much quieter phase in the Campaign, and this means that Kate and I will only be doing half a dozen interviews per week with the British and Portuguese Press. It will be good to get the twins out of the spotlight for a short time.

I spent the evening perusing a contract that was handed to me by our Campaign Manager for signing. It is reassuring that Kate and I are considered to have the gravitas and confidence to be able to edit the next Michelin Guide for Portugal. We certainly have the experience for this not insignificant task, and it will be pleasing to be able to travel around the Algarve, quite legitimately this time, sampling the region's gastronomic delights. Obviously the twins will be staying back at the apartment whilst we do this.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,500

2007-08-24T06:36:00.000+01:00

We are spending a quiet day today as we have unfortunately reached the 1500 day milestone since Madeleine was abducted. We are spending a peaceful time reflecting with all the immediate family today and even the twins are skipping Kids Club for the day.

Our extended family will however be organising a plethora of events including a sponsored football vigil, wristband swap shop and celebrity church attendance. The highlight of the day, however, will be a lone banjo player picking his way through a moving ditty specially written by a 9 year old schoolboy in Glasgow.

Please see the website for a fundraising event near you now.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,498

2007-08-21T09:27:00.000+01:00

Our acceptance of the ‘Parents of the Decade’ award at Earls Court proved to be an eventful evening. Despite the high security cordon and barbed wire electric fence that had been set up around the perimeter of the venue, a number of protestors managed to break through the massed ranks of security officers and gain entry onto the podium.

I was heartened that my NHS Zero Tolerance Safety Training came immediately into play as I instinctively defended myself against a barrage of tomatoes, suedes and scotch eggs. Tackling one of the female assailants to the ground, I forced her into submission with a strong grip on the upper arm – unfortunately I think I may have bruised her slightly in the process. My jogging training then came in useful as I pursued another attacker across the stage and subdued him with a quick swing of our ‘Parents of the Decade’ trophy. Another protestor was felled with a well-aimed throw of my wallet, hefty after a recent visit to the cashpoint. Regrettably the euros that were still in it may have contributed to the minor head injuries that the protestor sustained.

After some delay, Scotland Yard eventually managed to attend the scene. Fortunately, the wristbands that I was wearing and the ribbons that adorned Kate’s hair proved extremely helpful in restraining all the protestors until that time.

We had to wait until the crowd had stopped cheering before we could proceed with the award ceremony. Although the exclusive interviews will be somewhat troublesome, I hope we can have a quieter day tomorrow when we return to Portugal.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,495

2007-08-19T09:33:00.000+01:00

We are in the UK for a few days at the Hello Magazine Awards accepting our prize for being ‘Parents of the Decade’.

Unfortunately as soon as I got off McCann Force One at Heathrow, I was pelted with about half a dozen eggs and I had a number of small to medium sized rocks thrown at me by a trivial number of protestors who had gathered on the airport runway. Luckily my bullet-proof vest took most of the impact. Kate and I were most hurt by this incident as Scotland Yard had assured us they would provide the highest level of security that money can buy.

After some brief phone calls, my good friend the Prime Minister assured us that he would draft some emergency curfew measures which would prevent this sort of occurrence in the future. He said that any gatherings of more than 50,000 people would, in the future, be subject to severe restriction orders. As a result of this emergency legislation, we feel it is safe to stay at least until the awards ceremony.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,494

2007-08-18T11:16:00.000+01:00

We are now proud to announce another great initiative that will keep the Campaign in everyone’s mind. The runaway success of the Tag Your Tots Campaign has certainly indicated a dire yet popular need for child safety equipment. With this in mind Fund McCann have teamed up with several popular suppliers and we now have a full range of equipment and ironmongery to rival that of any hardware store. Kate and I have spent many a happy afternoon choosing a premium selection of products for your peace of mind.

For example, we have industrial strength reinforced steel child stair gates, various child-proof locks for doors and windows, silent smoke alarms, rubber safety knives, non-slip high level toy storage shelving and economy no-light night lights.

For the truly concerned parent, we have the Extreme Heavyweight bedding material, ideal for those light sleeping children who may be prone to wandering – the material, specially developed for the space programme, is as heavy as lead, yet feels as soft as a child’s favourite cuddly toy.

All equipment will come with the assured Fund McCann logo, which you know you can trust. This means that all products have been thoroughly tested on children, and we will always honour the 100 day guarantee should the product prove faulty. A catalogue is now available for the low price of £10, which will be refunded with the first order over £300.

Kate and I will be officially launching the Littlekids catalogue next week. Unfortunately, the twins will still be carrying out some important final testing of new products so they will not be able to attend the media event.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,492

2007-08-17T07:09:00.000+01:00

It is with great regret to report that our lawyers are now in the final stages of commencing legal proceedings against a large number of online media streams. Despite repeated warnings not to use copyrighted phrases and terminology, hundreds of thousands of such organisations have blatantly continued to publish such trademarked terms as relaxed parenting, conglomeration of circumstances, tuppence-worth, and concrete evidence. The website has 27 pages detailing the full list of copyrighted material.

Fund McCann will be seeking substantial damages whenever these trademarked terms are used. Official outlets will continue to be able to freely use such terms on payment of the usual royalties to Fund McCann.

We have enjoyed a good relationship with the media since the earliest days since Madeleine’s abduction, so to see such a flagrant breach of our goodwill by the same media has been both hurtful and unhelpful.

Contrary to what has been reported previously, we can confirm that Fund McCann has not trademarked the phrase probably the best parenting in the world. Our team is currently, however, making the necessary applications.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,489

2007-08-16T06:58:00.000+01:00

The Campaign received a major setback today when Kate’s hairstylist resigned her post. This came as a great shock to us as she seemed so pleased in her work and the results spoke for themselves. Despite the critics, we loved the twist she gave to Kate’s appearance. Together with Kate’s designer green and yellow wardrobe and my special T-shirts, our overall look was guaranteed to turn heads and stomachs.

The ability with which Kate’s hairstylist was able to creatively combine both green and yellow ribbons into a complex yet elegant arrangement was and remains unmatched in the industry. Our team is now making some extensive enquiries in order to seek a replacement. If you feel you could help us in this important search, please consider uploading high resolution digital photographs of your work to http://www.kateshair.becausewereworthitupload.com/ or see the website to download a recruitment form. We will leave no hood dryer unturned in our quest for the perfect hair for Kate.

We plan to announce the news of the successful candidate in a special international media event, to be jointly hosted by Fund McCann and a certain French cosmetics and beauty company.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,481

2007-08-15T07:07:00.000+01:00

A further celebration this week as we approach 1500 days since Madeleine has been missing. Hello Magazine has named Kate and I as ‘Parents of the Decade’. We are very honoured to accept this accolade, which comes with a £1m prize and a round the world cruise for two. I can tell you we sorely need a rest and a top-up after all the hard campaigning that we have both been up to, and it would be nice to get away from the blistering heat here in Portugal and spend some time in slightly cooler climes.

Our devout faith, strength of character, relentless determination and caring nature were obviously factors that gave Hello Magazine the evidence they needed to present us with the award. I will at this point emphasise that the recent renewal of the two year contract of exclusive regular spreads featuring Madeleine’s Aunty Phil was not a factor in influencing the decision of the Hello panel.

We will be travelling back to London soon to accept the award in a special event kindly hosted by Fleet Street.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,478

2007-08-14T07:05:00.000+01:00

The Campaign to find Madeleine received a massive boost today from GMTV and Fiona Phillips. As you know, both Fiona and GMTV have always been extremely supportive of us in their intelligent and well-reasoned pronouncements to the general public. Of course Fiona is also a judge in the soon to be aired Gerry McCann Idol show and it is great to have such an outstanding TV presenter and journalist involved in the Campaign.

This year Fund McCann will be heavily involved with the annual Tag Your Tots Campaign. GMTV, in association with Chubb, is providing 2,500,000 yellow and green identity wristbands this summer.

Not only do these wristbands act as identity bracelets if your child gets lost, but the robust Chubb engineering also means that they are permanently and securely fixed to your child’s wrist for at least 15 days. This should be enough to outlast most child or family friendly holidays. Each wristband has space on the reverse for a parent's mobile number, although of course, the telephone number of the nearest restaurant should also suffice.

As parents we can never underestimate the importance of looking after one’s children.

Usually the Tag Your Tots wristbands are given away free, but unfortunately this year, due to rising costs of yellow and green dye, each wristband will now be available for the trivial price of £7.99. As our proud sponsor Fiona says, this could happen to anyone, so £7.99 is a tiny price to pay for the peace of mind that these wristbands bring.

Please see the website for details.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,473

2007-08-13T06:46:00.000+01:00

A quiet day today. Kate and I went to the obligatory church service in Praia de Luz this morning. It was already blisteringly hot and I had to go to the local shop to accept a free bottle of water. It was heartening to see Madeleine’s picture in all the English tabloids whilst I was there.

Later that morning, Kate and I had a run around McCann Village. We are becoming more experienced now in completing the five-mile circuit in around an hour. This means that we can get back just in time to see the twins off at the Kids Club.

I spent almost the entire evening in some important work busily answering emails and ringing around some government ministers, but I did find the time to squeeze in a personal half hour aerobics session!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,463

2007-08-10T10:00:00.000+01:00

Kate and I are back in the UK publicising a brand new TV show where we will be promoting the Campaign very heavily. We will also be doing one-hour specials on both Parkinson and the Jonathan Ross Show. As a result of our visit and TV presence, we hope people will be on board with the key messages of the Campaign. This is so exciting as it is another new way in which the Campaign can be promoted.

The show will be a weekly hour-long show airing on primetime weekend TV. In the show itself, contestants will perform auditions and viewers will be able to vote contestants off the show on a knockout basis. Calls will cost £2 per vote and viewers will be able to cast their vote as many times as they like. Of course, proceeds from all calls will go to Fund McCann.

In each of their performances, the contestants must be able to show their dedication to, loyalty for, and above all, keep the confidence of Fund McCann. The winner of the show will take up the prestigious position of Campaign Manager at Fund McCann – currently a very highly paid post with a two monthly tenure.

We are pleased to announce that we have already appointed the three judges - Simon Cowell, Ulrika Jonsson and Fiona Phillips and we look forward to their expert and well-informed opinions. I myself will make very very regular guest appearances to check on the progress of the contest and to give my views on the contestants.

Gerry McCann Idol will air in the autumn on ITV and run for 9 months. We are hoping the idea will become global in order to continue to increase awareness of the Campaign.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,461

2007-08-09T08:47:00.000+01:00

Today is the fourth anniversary of Madeleine’s abduction.

Fund McCann has travelled to China to promote the Campaign. Unfortunately it has taken a few years longer than expected to arrange for an event to be visible from space. Even our highly professional and experienced team of facilitators and administrators took an inordinately long time to penetrate the inscrutable Chinese bureaucracy. It has all been rather difficult, as they don’t seem to speak English either. Our efforts were also hampered by having to spend some time employing yet another Campaign Manager after the thirty-fourth one resigned a month or so ago.

It is therefore pleasing to report that Fund McCann has prevailed and we have managed to arrange for one of China’s smaller World Heritage Sites, the Great Wall, to be painted a striking yellow and green colour, one colour to each side. Finally, after more than 2000 years of obscurity, and thanks entirely to Fund McCann, the Great Wall of China actually is visible easily from space.

We have also arranged, with kind sponsors HP and Epson, for 1.5 billion posters of Madeleine to be printed and distributed to all Chinese people, completely free of charge, so that they will be aware of Madeleine in case she is in the immediate vicinity.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,456

2007-08-09T08:25:00.000+01:00

My recovery is not going as well as expected and it is disappointing to report that I may be able to post a new blog entry only five or six times a week for the next few months. I know how you all look forward to the latest happenings at Fund McCann.

I may well have to curtail my usual nightly entertaining and start going to bed early, possibly even at the same time as the twins. Now that is very very early indeed by my standards of recent years!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,444

2007-08-08T07:48:00.000+01:00

Kate and I returned to Portugal a few days ago after a gruelling schedule touring the UK. We are both very tired but know that we must keep up with the Campaign.

Despite our best efforts, this week was a bit of a whitewash for me as my palpitations continued to worsen despite the additional and repeated assurances from our Fund Accountant. Things came to a head yesterday when I collapsed in our apartment with exhaustion.

Luckily my finely honed skills as one of Leicester’s eminent cardiologists were still with me as I calmly yet promptly catheterised my own groin with a coat hanger and some drinking straws. Using an old alarm clock, some AA batteries and an egg whisk I managed to isolate and destroy the faulty heart tissue that was the cause of my palpitations. The twins gave me some much-needed support during this traumatic time. It is indeed thanks to them that I had a supply of drinking straws in the first place.

Kate even managed to assist in the procedure despite having been fairly unhelpful in diagnosing my condition last month.

I am now well on the road to recovery and hope to be campaigning again with renewed vigour. Some kind and supportive words from a certain fellow sufferer and former Prime Minister have helped to speed up my rehabilitation.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,441

2007-08-07T08:47:00.000+01:00

My keynote address at the National Union of Teachers conference in Harrogate went very well. It was difficult finding my bearings after the unprecedented 8 minute 17 second standing ovation, and that was even before I had started to speak! I do not want to reveal too much about the contents of my speech, but needless to say, the complete address will be available for download as a podcast from the website for a nominal fee.

Madeleine’s Aunty Phil surprised everybody, myself included, by appearing as a guest speaker. Kate and I were moved to tears as she made a highly eloquent and impassioned plea for the Campaign.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,432

2007-08-07T08:40:00.000+01:00

I am back in the UK at the moment touring the country promoting the forthcoming release of the Reasonable Parenting Guide. I will be performing a series of lectures in schools and universities around the country, where I will read out entire chapters from the book. In addition I have arranged, wherever possible, to sit in on class portraits in order to promote awareness of the Campaign amongst parents. For individual portraits, and where my personal appearance is not possible, school photographers have agreed to use the Fund McCann logo as a photographic backdrop.

A small percentage of the purchase price of each portrait will go to Fund McCann.

Kate and the twins will be joining me next week and it will be nice to see them again – in Portugal it is difficult to find a spare minute to spend some quality time with them when they are in the Kids Club for much of the day, every day. Luckily Aunty Phil comes over to Portugal now and again to provide some much needed schooling for the twins. Even now they are asking if they can have a break from their holiday!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,427

2007-08-07T08:36:00.000+01:00

I may have been working too hard recently as I have been suffering with a few palpitations and waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. These bouts last about twenty minutes and have continued despite cutting my coffee intake, refraining from dining out every evening and having early nights. Unfortunately, seeking my wife’s advice in her role as a GP proved somewhat futile.

Luckily my bank manager was able to reassure me that all is well.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,419

2007-08-06T16:54:00.000+01:00

We have always felt that the checking we performed on our children whilst dining mere yards away, on the night that Madeleine disappeared, was well within the bounds of responsible parenting. Buoyed by the assurances from the authorities that no action would ever be taken against us for our behaviour, Kate and I were compelled to write a book, entitled the Reasonable Parenting Guide. We are still seeking publishers after being turned down by Rough Guides, however despite this setback we still expect the book to be published in the summer.

We are sure the book will serve as a reference work of the most responsible and legally sound behaviour to be followed with confidence by parents, childminders and also local authorities throughout the UK, Europe and the wider international community. We have already received hearty endorsements from various child welfare organisations including the NSPCC, Barnardo's and the Children’s Law Centre. Indeed the foreword of the book has been written by no less than Professor Carolyn Hamilton of the CLC.

The price of the book is still to be finalised, but for such a weighty reference tome, we expect it to be on sale for no less than £49.99. Proceeds from sale of the book will of course go to Fund McCann.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,413

2007-08-05T20:21:00.000+01:00

It is good to report that there have been some significant developments in the case. To be honest, it has been disappointing that the case has dragged on for so long without it being solved. Of course, focussing on the Campaign has helped tremendously.

Some important witnesses came forward last week with detailed information about the night Madeleine was abducted. The importance of this development cannot be overlooked – the information must have been crucial and must have been very securely committed to memory for it to have been recalled so easily after nearly four years.

I cannot reveal the identity of the witnesses for fear of jeopardising any subsequent legal proceedings but Kate and I will be taking the group back to the airport tomorrow.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,392

2007-08-04T10:03:00.000+01:00

We have more planned events to keep Madeleine in people’s minds. This is all the more important as we approach the 1500 day milestone that Madeleine will have been missing. Already family and friends are busy arranging special fundraising events all around the UK. For example, we have the sponsored smile-a-thon in Liverpool, family fun days out to various zoo and theme parks, the Childminder’s Fundraising Ball at Leicester Social Services and not forgetting the Scary Monsters Fancy Dress Disco for under 5s. Further details available on the website.

If you wish to submit a fundraising event in your neighbourhood, please send your idea to fundmccann@bringmadeleinehome.com.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,389

2007-08-03T09:03:00.000+01:00

After working with the NCMEC and CEOP, we have now sought agreement with all major supermarket chains and corner shop retail outlets in the UK and the rest of Europe to follow the USA example, and print Madeleine’s picture on milk cartons and bottles.

Team McCann have however taken this concept one step further to increase awareness on a continual day to day basis and to this end, we will also be using the common household items of crisp packets, drinks cans, washing powder cartons and carrier bags. These items will act as ideal mediums to take the Campaign into everyone’s consciousness and help the Campaign to gain a new heightened level of visibility. Unfortunately my suggestion to use the very very regular every day item of toilet roll was rejected by the rest of the team.

I will be returning to the UK shortly to pick up some old photographs of Madeleine for this purpose.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,384

2007-08-02T09:10:00.000+01:00

Unfortunately, despite working very closely the Assembly of the Republic and having had some intense negotiations with very many high ranking Portuguese officials, we have some bad news to report. It was disappointing that during the recent referendum, the Portuguese people rejected a small change in their country's constitution and national identity. We had hoped that from 2012, Portugal would be renamed Missingal in honour of Madeleine. This would have helped to further increase the global awareness of the Campaign.

We were surprised that our secondary request to rename Madeira Island was also rejected by the Portuguese.

We are in discussion with our Campaign team to consider a formal response to these setbacks, but early thoughts suggest that the decisions made by the Portuguese were unhelpful. We may have to consider relocating Team McCann headquarters to a more considerate environment.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,376

2007-08-01T09:49:00.000+01:00

We received some good news this week when a reporter informed us that we would be new joint entrants in the latest Sunday Times Rich List to be published in a few months time. Kate and I had always thought we would be excluded from the list as we are not based in the UK currently. Clearly the regular quarterly submissions made on our behalf by our Campaign Manager have paid off! Our inclusion in the list is a tribute to the great background work done by the all the people behind the Campaign.

As a reminder, donations continue to be taken at the website.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,372

2007-08-01T08:12:00.000+01:00

Another quiet day. Our weekly video conferencing session with the Prime Minister went well, and we were able to keep him up to date with the latest developments on the Campaign. It is heartening when such advanced communications and information technology is used for the benefit of good.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,369

2007-07-31T09:03:00.000+01:00

Our wristband supply has now been exhausted, having been given quite freely during my extensive fact-finding missions all over the world. I must admit they were looking somewhat tired.

In order to keep the Campaign in everyone’s mind, we have designed some new yellow and green wristbands, emblazoned with the words ‘LOOK FOR BADDIES’. We feel that everyone, even parents, should be aware of the need to protect children from evil abductors. As a result of these wristbands, if we all became more aware of the dangers that face little ones on a daily basis, we are sure that the whole world will become a much safer place for children. We can only thank our lucky stars that not more children are snatched every day.

The price of each wristband has increased to £4.99 due to rising costs.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,362

2007-07-30T22:49:00.000+01:00

It had been an absolute pleasure working with the massive best selling author J. K. Rowling in maintaining awareness of Madeleine at a very very high level. Ms Rowling continued to be so moved by our plight that she has finally agreed, after several years of talks, to resurrect the Harry Potter novels for a new eighth instalment, Harry Potter and the Magic Wand.

It was disappointing that the last book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, had such dark tones and so much death. To be honest, it is surprising that this sort of thing should happen in stories for children. In Harry Potter and the Magic Wand, Ms Rowling has agreed to dedicate the entire book to a more pleasing story line where all the main characters come back to life and live happily every after.

Exclusive excerpts and pictures from the book as well as a competition to win a week at McCann Village are hidden on our website. Try and find them on the website – I will give you a clue, they are scattered around the online store page!

On this occasion, as well as the bookmark that was planned previously, Ms Rowling has agreed to include a customised inlay featuring the Team McCann planned events around the time of the book’s release. The book will also come in an exclusive green and yellow leather slipcase with an embossed illustration of Madeleine on the front and the Fund McCann logo on the back. We expect this truly definitive Harry Potter edition to become a fine collector’s edition in decades to come. Distribution will be exclusively from the website. A small percentage of the proceeds from the sale of the book will go to Fund McCann.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,358

2007-07-26T09:14:00.000+01:00

Our Campaign team have been doing much background work with purveyors of deep fried chipped potato and battered fish foodstuffs particularly in the UK, Australia, New Zealand and the Netherlands. Our latest initiative is now presented to bypass the problem of yesterday’s news of the latest Team McCann media event becoming today’s chip paper. Additionally it will help to keep Madeleine’s profile at extremely high levels.

Our media management team will now provide high quality 50 gsm white chip wrapping paper complete with all the latest news and articles on the case. Every chip paper will carry a high resolution colour photograph of Madeleine aged about two years of age. We have now settled agreements will nearly 94% of all good retailers to start using our special wrapping paper.

Today’s chip paper will no longer be yesterday’s Team McCann news. Today’s chip paper will be today’s Team McCann news. This will undoubtedly lead to discussion amongst the population and awareness will be raised at so many different levels, including in the retail outlet itself, on the way home, in work places of all descriptions, in front of the television and most importantly, at the family dinner table. Someone somewhere who knows of Madeleine’s whereabouts will see this in front of them and come forward.

We are currently negotiating with various international napkin, placemat and coaster manufacturers in order to achieve a similar awareness campaign in the wildly popular restaurant and tapas bar market.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,353

2007-07-25T09:18:00.000+01:00

We returned from our American trip to a tumultuous welcome at McCann Village. It was nice to see all the old regulars there to greet us; Sky News, The Sun, the Daily Express and the Campaign team. In addition, our extended family, who had already been holidaying in Portugal for the last month, came to meet us and we all celebrated our homecoming with yet another great party (photographs available on the website). After the festivities, we spent the rest of the day extremely busy answering emails and ringing our corporate sponsors.

We will be in negotiations for the rest of the week with Rupert Murdoch to form our own offshoot of Sky News, to be called MMTV. It is hoped that this new channel will be simultaneously launched on both digital cable, satellite and Freeview. Ofcom is currently very seriously considering our request for MMTV to be the sixth terrestrial channel before the analogue switch off.

MMTV will carry 24 hour bulletins on the latest updates in the case, and will display the newest digital video and photographs of Team McCann at the most recent fundraising event, delicately choreographed to popular music. There will also be a regular ‘Embellishment Of The Day’ soundbite from our spokepersons, Madeleine’s Aunty Phil and Uncle John. Members of the MMMU (McCann Media Monitoring Unit) will be on hand with phone polls and the channel will feature a convivial weekly talk show hosted by Kate and I called ‘Ask No Questions’.

Full digital services will be available on MMTV, and viewers pressing the ‘Red’ button will be taken directly to a special MMTV online store where they will be able to purchase items of our memorabilia and other plastic goods from a choice selection of the full range. The full range of goods is, of course, available on the website.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,352

2007-07-24T17:35:00.000+01:00

We are now making arrangements for our early return from the US. We had planned to devote a few hours in our extremely busy schedule to meet with the President in the famous Oval Office, but we were surprised to be honest when the meeting had been cancelled on the basis of the President being called away to an urgent summit on yet another Middle East crisis.

We therefore had to endure a brief meeting instead with the Chief of Staff. It was heartening, however, to hear that the Chief of Staff agreed to press the President on making the resources of both the CIA and the FBI widely available for the investigation into Madeleine’s abduction. This would further strengthen Anglo-American relations for the benefit of all.

Before we left, we were reassured by the CIA's commitment to allow use of their network of spy satellites to aid the hunt for Madeleine. We were also struck by the graciousness of the NASA’s board of administrators and their offer to allow the Hubble to defer its planned deep space exploration programme and direct its attentions to earth to help in the search.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,351

2007-07-24T06:45:00.000+01:00

We are in the US this week and will be attending the FBI Annual Ball. Kate and I will be guests of honour and I will be performing a speech on the importance of protecting children in a dangerous world. My speech will also cover the distressing subject of child neglect. As parents ourselves of course, it is difficult to see how anyone could ever neglect their children and shocking that they would believe that it is an acceptable thing to do.

It is heartening to be getting so many international offers to speak at such prestigious law enforcement events and those standing ovations must mean I am doing something right!

During our visit to the J. Edgar Hoover Building yesterday, it was interesting to see that so much background work is being done by the authorities in this murky and underworld field. It is surprising that this sort of thing goes on at all.

Tickets may still be available for the exclusive FBI Annual Ball event. If you have any difficulty obtaining tickets, we have held some in reserve at the online shop for the bargain price of £399 each.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,349

2007-07-23T19:50:00.000+01:00

Team McCann and friends have traditionally been avid users of Friends Reunited, and we have always aimed to keep our records updated very very regularly. Considering the great interest in our entries, the widespread cultural popularity of the site and the worthy principle behind it, we have decided to set up our own brand new commercial venture, Wee Ones Reunited. The website is available at www.weeonesreunited.com.

The following is an extract from the brochure which will soon be available on the website:

For a small monthly membership fee of £49.99, parents can log all the details of their toddlers and young children onto our secure servers. Facilities exist for the easy upload of both new and extremely out of date photographs of their loved ones.

Should parents then lose, forget or simply mislay one of their children, wherever they are in the world, a simple phone call to our international free phone number 0808-WEE-ONES will trigger off a global high interest media and internet communications campaign whose ultimate aim will be to unite one’s wee one with one.

Using our extensive experience in this area, Wee Ones Reunited will spam all ISPs with poster emails, saturate all media outlets and television stations with regular news and soundbites and set up instant fundraising and message support websites. We will provide you with your own personal government-approved Media Manager to stay with you twenty four hours a day to ensure that your profile in the media becomes and remains unblemished.

With our wide network of paid facilitators and advisors, we can even trademark your child’s name and that of your fundraising company for your future safety and security. All of this will be done instantly within mere days, and without any need for concern on your part.

Our team of advisors will also be on hand to counsel parents in this difficult situation. Free training courses are available to parents and extended family on diverse topics such as ‘Hair And Jewellery Fashion For Stressful Living’, ‘House Hunting For Cash Buyers’, ‘Avoiding That Difficult Question’, ‘Power Jogging Before Tears‘, ‘Blogging For Beginners’, ‘Which QC For Me?’ and the extremely popular course ‘Financial Comfort When Kids Disappear’.

We can offer all of this with your low cost membership to Wee Ones Reunited. Our aim is to keep you free of all worry so that you can continue to devote your time to doing the important things in life, like drinking, socialising and travel. All you have to do is keep up with payments on your membership. You can do this easily by setting up a monthly direct debit.

Please note, your campaign is at risk if you fail to keep up payments on your membership or any other fees dependent on it. Maximum membership term is five years or until child is five years of age whichever is sooner. Two or more claims per household in any one financial year will invalidate your membership. Please call for details of our No Claims Discount. Return of child is not guaranteed.

Team McCann: For When You Can’t™

A glossy brochure (145Mb download) will shortly be available on the website.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,344

2007-07-23T12:27:00.000+01:00

It is becoming more difficult to rely on our network of wealthy businessmen for our free international air travel. The issue was highlighted in particular by the Extended World Tour which proved to be much longer than expected and our use of the private jets put much strain on the day to day running of international retail. We have therefore decided to purchase our own fleet of private Learjets McCann Force One through to McCann Force Four.

We have been working closely from the beginning with one of our biggest corporate sponsors, BP. In order to lower our not insignificant carbon footprint, BP have developed an extraordinary biofuel, made exclusively out of cow manure. Our Learjets have also been exclusively modified such that all heating, lighting and electrical requirements will run on a combination of the methane and hot air emanating from both the cow manure and the passengers within. As a further ecological measure, all the manure will come from free ranging cattle reared on the vast acreage of verdant pasture contained within McCann Village.

All our Learjets will carry green and yellow livery and will sport a picture of Madeleine on the tail to heighten awareness.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,340

2007-07-23T06:53:00.000+01:00

This week sees the launch of our CashCubes-a-thon. The Campaign team have been extremely busy designing a series of completely transparent perspex donation boxes with a slot in the top, ranging from 6 inches to 24 inches in size. The CashCubes will sport a picture of Madeleine, the Fund McCann logo and the website address, with the slogan ‘Donate with a Clear Conscience’. The transparent nature of the cubes gives those wishing to donate paper currency the satisfaction that comes with being seen to do the right thing.

These CashCubes will be displayed prominently in all public places in at least 80 countries worldwide. Our scouts have been carefully selecting ideal locations for our CashCubes, in areas such as railway platforms, airport departure lounges, hospital waiting rooms, ferry terminals, leisure centres and sporting facilities, cinemas, schools, libaries, public toilets and old people’s homes. The respective governments of the countries involved have kindly donated regular day and night police man hours to guard these cubes with the care and attention they deserve.

Our international fleet of couriers, Group 9, will then exchange the filled CashCubes regularly for empty ones and transfer the contents to Switzerland under secure cover.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,338

2007-07-16T19:27:00.000+01:00

Following further direction from our advisors, we have now completed the purchase of the entire Ocean Club from Mark Warner. The Ocean Club resort in Praia de Luz continues to attract a great many sightseers, well-wishers and visitors keen to understand the events of that fateful night, and according to our Campaign team, we were failing to turn these opportunities into tangible benefits. In order to capitalise on this conglomeration of circumstances that have come together somewhat fortuitously, we purchased the resort last week with the interest from the Campaign Fund. It will become a theme park in honour of Madeleine.

Although we have yet to formally name to park, some cynical observers have already dubbed the resort the 'Well I Never Land'. Planning and building work is at an advanced stage, and we can already unveil several themed rides in the park. For instance, visitors will be able to take a 15 minute monorail ride and see for themselves the very very regular checking route from a leisurely height. They will be able to see first hand the extremely short garden-like distances involved and enjoy the same ease with which entire walls and trees could be glanced over.

Another ride, entitled 'Around the World in 80 seconds', is a high velocity rollercoaster taking the thrillseeker to exotic locations from around the world, whilst high speed flash photography captures those precious moments as the ride and its excited passengers thunders past accurate reconstructions of such locations as the Vatican City, the Taj Mahal, Buckingham Palace and the White House.

Additionally the apartment has been resold to us, and we have recreated the entire scene, complete with hermetically sealed artefacts from the night in question. Kate and I spent many long hours arranging the apartment to the high standards required. An interactive ride, much in the style of movie studio theme parks, will see visitors walkthrough the scene and be able to take part in a simulated frantic search in the apartment. The ride is so advanced and so laced with authenticity that it can accommodate up to twenty-four persons at the same time. We are very proud of all our engineers, then and now, for sorting that one out.

Food, refreshments and of course, alcoholic beverages will be available at the original Tapas bar, but also at three more purpose built restaurants to cater for the great influx of middle class professional visitors we expect to attract once the theme park opens.

Of course, no theme park would be complete without thinking of the needs and wishes of children. The original Kids Club and Creche has been expanded and built upon, and now comprises several floors of children's entertainment, incorporating soft-play, ball pit, TV room and nap lounge. More importantly, security is foremost, and a brand new 10 foot high barbed wire electric fence has been installed for the peace of mind and comfort of concerned parents.

We expect to open the park early next month, and as a long overdue gesture of goodwill on our part (in honour of the kind and generous hospitality we have gained from the tolerant people of Portugal), we will offer free admission, although there is a suggested donation to Fund McCann of £15 for adults and £20 for children.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,335

2007-07-16T07:54:00.000+01:00

It is pleasing to report that The Rolling Stones will be coming out of retirement yet again and performing an exclusive world tour on our behalf. They will promote the Campaign by performing a great line-up of poignant yet striking numbers, both original and cover versions, such as Sympathy for the Devil, Miss You, (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction, Under My Thumb, It's All Over Now, Play With Fire, She's So Cold, Heart of Stone and that magnificent golden oldie Ain't Too Proud to Beg from the 1974 hit album, It's Only Rock and Roll. I could go on and on, but the list is truly endless.

The catchily titled Leaving No Rolling Stone Undisturbed Tour will start next year with a series of concerts in London, Paris, New York, Milan and Leicester. It makes me smile to think that I can amply afford to employ The Rolling Stones as my personal rock band now, when I did not even have the cleared funds to buy a simple concert ticket of theirs back in my impoverished student days. How times have changed!

Further details of ticket prices will follow on the website.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,333

2007-07-15T12:34:00.000+01:00

We continue to work with the Portuguese police and on the advice of our QC, we brought the police in for further close questioning to explain their actions and progress in the criminal investigation. We would like to give more information on the discussion itself, but cannot for fear of prejudicing any subsequent court proceedings. Needless to say, it vindicated our decision to retain the services of the International Family Law Group.

This month's balloon release went well, with only two reports of injuries to marine mammals and one aircraft near miss.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,329

2007-07-14T19:29:00.000+01:00

It has been a difficult week. We have made good progress with the Campaign and have been working with many high profile companies to take the Campaign to new levels. With this in mind, we were pleased to be introduced to Hasbro, the publishers of the most popular board game of all time, Monopoly. Daily meetings were going well with the firm, until a dreadfully inexperienced executive muted the idea of a special Praia de Luz edition of the detective board game Cluedo, to be priced at £14.99.

Both Kate and I were shocked and distressed at this completely disgusting, offensive and distasteful suggestion, which is entirely at odds with the philosophy of the Campaign and unlike other events we have organised or other items we have produced in the past. We would expect a special edition of Cluedo to retail for at least £24.99.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,323

2007-07-13T20:38:00.000+01:00

We have now partnered with the Royal Mail to offer a set of four exclusive stamps and First Day Cover set in order to keep awareness at a very high level. The stamps feature Madeleine in four distinctive portraits varying from the age of 6 months to 2 years and include the now iconic ‘poster photo’.

Anybody seeing these stamps should instantly recognise Madeleine and be able to immediately inform the authorities. The first class stamp has a value of £3.50 and the second class stamp has a value of £1.50, with the other two stamps with denominations of £5.00 and £10.00.

The First Day Cover will be priced at £15.00 and include a specially minted coin featuring Fund McCann’s newly designed logo. The Cover will be franked with all four stamps and cancelled with an exclusively commissioned 'eye' postmark.

A small proportion of the purchase price of each item will go to Fund McCann.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,320

2007-07-13T20:28:00.000+01:00

It was extremely upsetting to hear the news from our buyers in China that Fund McCann had exhausted the entire global supply of green and yellow plastic.

It is incredibly important that emergency supplies be sourced for the continued production of our plastic and PVC memorabilia. Proving ever helpful in yet another crisis, the Prime Minister stepped in with some new emergency legislation for the mandatory surrender of all petrol cans and bathtime toy ducks. Collection stations will be set up in all schools, car parks, leisure centres and travel agents for this purpose. Anyone found to be in violation of this new law will be harshly punished and treated with the contempt they deserve.

Kate and I found time for another early morning run today. We managed to cover almost 10 miles in just over an hour. It was lovely to be able to get out of the apartment again before the twins woke up.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,313

2007-07-13T20:18:00.000+01:00

We have been inundated with requests for a special item to be available from our online store for the festive season. We have been working closely with one of our corporate sponsors, Sony, to replace the much favoured AIBO (robot dog) which was discontinued in March 2006.

Sony NYAN (robot cat) will be released in October, in time for the seasonal rush. The following is an extract from the pre-launch sales information:

The eagerly awaited Sony NYAN (robot cat) replaces the popular Sony AIBO (robot dog) which was discontinued in March 2006. It will be launched to the worldwide market in October, exclusively online from www.findmadeleine.com/dosharama/sony. It will be available in a range of two fetching colours, yellow and green, and will come with its own 16Mb memory module which will display behaviour routines from friendly to cuddly. Despite sophisticated electronics the NYAN is very robust, and will withstand even adult handling around the plastic-metal interface that forms the scruff of its neck.

Extra programmable behaviour modules will become available, including a brand new Sony Search module. The NYAN can also be programmed to act as a night light and play easily downloadable and widely available MP3 stories up to two hours long when used with the entirely optional Child Welfare (Night Sitting) module (available at extra cost, batteries not included).

As an additional bonus, from November, the NYAN will also cater for fathers with its built-in PS3 emulation system module (free with token on purchase of Child Welfare (Night Sitting) module). Sony are also developing a Destroy module, to be twinned with its Search module, which will automatically and wirelessly disrupt electronic signals and other communications and prevent the widespread and unsavoury practice of internet discussion forums and unauthorised blogging.

The recommended retail price of the Sony NYAN will be £2399.98.

Sony has kindly agreed to donate £399.98 to Fund McCann for each NYAN sold. Details will be available soon on the online store.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,309

2007-07-13T17:42:00.000+01:00

We can now provide details of our work with Google. It had been a low point in our Campaign when Google had declined to change its logo to replace its two ‘oo’s with Madeleine’s eyes. Thankfully, common sense, continued pressure and polite diplomacy have prevailed, and we can now announce the global release of the GoogleMaddie Widget™, available for immediate download and installation.

The specially designed GoogleMaddie Widget™ will be automatically installed on every PC where the user has performed any form of Google search, whether that be in a browser window or on Google’s own web pages. Users can also download the GoogleMaddie Widget™ from all major online retailers completely free of charge.

This GoogleMaddie Widget™, once installed, employs patented FAIL-safe™ code (Fuzzy ‘Artificial Intelligence’ Logic) to efficiently and effectively scan the entire user’s computer in the background. It will send details of any files found on the user’s PC which it deems to be of a suspect nature, including any files which may contain any reference to Madeleine, Team McCann, the Campaign (Fund McCann) or Portugal. These details will be forwarded to a network of computers to be processed and the information will then be passed on to local law enforcement agencies for appropriate action.

As a further but entirely necessary safety measure, any computers found to contain photographic images of Aunty Phil will immediately trigger, for its owner, a dawn visit from undercover members of the intelligence services.

FAIL-safe™ code as used in the GoogleMaddie Widget™ is thought to be so accurate in its determination of suspect material that the chance of an error resulting in wrongful arrest, imprisonment and/or mob lynching is only in the order of 1 in a 100 million searches [figures available from Gerry on request].

Any user who declines to have the GoogleMaddie Widget™ installed or who removes the GoogleMaddie Widget™ forcibly from their computers will have their IP address, operating system details, web-cam data and user demographics logged and automatically sent to local law enforcement for investigation of child protection issues.

We realise that the sensitive nature of this programme may upset some users, and there are those who may wish to decline to take part in this worthy global protection campaign. To this end, any fully subscribed members of the McCann Media Monitoring Unit will be exempt from the GoogleMaddie Widget™ installation process. As a reminder, membership of the MMMU can be gained simply and easily with a small one-off membership fee of £1000 and monthly subscription of £100 paid by direct debit.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,305

2007-07-13T17:39:00.000+01:00

We are aware of a small number of critical comments about our actions over the last few years. Members of our well established McCann Media Monitoring Unit (MMMU) have been working diligently from the very earliest days in dealing with this difficult issue. We have members from all walks of life, although there does seem to be a tendency for the higher echelons of society to be represented.

Those wishing to gain an insight into the rich area of media management and those who wish to benefit from valuable and rewarding internet exchanges can join the MMMU for a small one-off membership fee of £1000 and monthly subscription of £100 paid by direct debit. Emotional as well as financial investment will be invaluable in bringing much enthusiasm to the post. The MMMU will supply, completely free of charge, a suitable dictionary and thesaurus once the first monthly subscription payment has been made.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,299

2007-07-13T17:37:00.000+01:00

It is with some trepidation that we can now reveal our new corporate logo for Fund McCann. This was designed by the very same and talented team that designed the striking logo for the 2012 Olympics. It features a series of jagged, angular and disjointed stark green and yellow stripes which are deemed to represent the straight and true progress of the criminal investigation, against a background consisting of a black and white stylised representation of Madeleine’s pupil and iris signifying the Campaign’s strong motivation and solid foundations.

Criticism, particularly around the time of the early market research into the new design, stating that the logo looked like a green pound sign with an eye behind it, has been dismissed as unhelpful.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,291

2007-07-09T20:15:00.000+01:00

Since 2007 we have been repeatedly approached by the media to tell the sympathetic public our side of the story. Negotiations have been underway from an early stage, and the hard work has now come to fruition. We are now reaching the final draft of a screenplay penned by some of the most renowned screenwriters in Hollywood. The film has a working title of They’ve Taken Her, with the tagline Horror in Paradise. Although it is not yet classified, we envisage it will be a minimum certificate 15, due to the multifarious scenarios, confusing witness testimony and involved plotlines and widespread use of the complex yet abstract concepts of media, public opinion and temporal discontinuity.

We are now in the process of casting and have started talks with Gwyneth Paltrow’s agent to play Kate and Robbie Coltrane’s agent for the important role of Madeleine’s aunt. It was doubly disappointing to learn that Dakota Fanning had grown up and that Pierce Brosnan was not available under any circumstance. I must also say at this point that, despite thousands of letters of support and several online petitions started on our behalf, we were very upset that Jerry Bruckheimer would not reverse his decision not to host the production. This left us with no choice but to use our own production company DreamsWork SKG*.

Filming will begin in the Algarve next year.

*DreamsWork SKG is our newly founded major film studio, full name DreamsWork Studio Kate & Gerry

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,275

2007-07-09T19:53:00.000+01:00

Another quiet day. We did half a dozen interviews today with various international press. We were surprised that some difficult and searching questions were raised by the journalists, but luckily our Fund Accountant was on hand and stepped in at the right time.

We had hoped to use to opportunity with the media to launch a new secondary Campaign to help Sean and Amelie to deal with the distress and upset caused by the publicity drive behind the first Campaign. We are already grateful to the press for masking the faces of the twins in any published photographs taken during our regular family outings. However, this new Campaign would take things a step further. We have already had thousands of offers of financial support for the twins, and this new campaign will be set up to drive those offers into real benefits. This Campaign, tentatively called Campaign for Sean and Amelie (CSA) would become one definitive form of child support for the twins.

The CSA would also raise awareness, by all means possible, of the important issue of the emotional trauma and media intrusion caused to siblings by the undue publicity of media campaigns surrounding kidnapped children. It would also help the parents of such children to deal with the issue with sensitivity and tact and above all give financial support to them at such a difficult time.

Unfortunately, the opportunity to inform the media about our new Campaign lapsed with the outbreak of further Middle East conflict which, quite rightly, will dominate the news for a day or so.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,269

2007-07-09T19:47:00.000+01:00

We picked up some friends from the airport this morning. They have arrived in Portugal to spend a week holidaying at our apartment. Unfortunately, construction at the McCann Village development is far from complete but we eventually hope to accommodate our guests in the style to which they are accustomed.

It was a pleasant surprise to discover that they had brought my Powerpoint presentation back with them. The CD had been loaded into a brand new laptop and the whole package, including one or two other important items, had been mailed anonymously to Sky News for its safe return to me. It was gratifying to know that it had been sent using Special Delivery with the correct postage. The afternoon’s resulting press conference went well.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,268

2007-07-08T22:25:00.000+01:00

I believe there will be some media interest in the next few days as I have been reliably informed that the Powerpoint presentation that was lost during my thwarting of the recent terrorist outrage will be returned shortly. We intend to hold a press conference in due course.

We continue to receive thousands of emails of support however, it was disappointing to find my inbox again filled with several hundred emails detailing misleading information on Madeleine's whereabouts and unconfirmed sightings of her, despite having expressly asked for such information not to be sent in to us.

Such activities detract from the Campaign and are distressing to say the least. However, we realise this is the price to be paid for such a high profile campaign. The longer this whole thing drags on, the more we will have to expect such happenings.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,267

2007-07-06T15:48:00.000+01:00

The storefront has now been overhauled and we are offering a wide range of memorabilia and items designed to keep awareness of Madeleine at a high degree. In addition to the wristbands, sunhats, sunglasses, panic alarms and T-shirts already available, we will be developing a range of goods and services specially developed as a result of our new association with the corporate retail market.

Two examples of this deserve a mention; firstly we have our environmentally friendly green and yellow canvas cloth recycle bag sporting the memorable slogan 'I donated, did you?' Secondly, our personal credit card will be launched later on this year, featuring a choice of thirty-two exclusive designs from Sean and Amelie's artwork. A token contribution of 10p for every £1 spent on the card will be donated to Fund McCann.

I am also delighted to reveal that we are in initial talks with the Franklin Mint but I cannot say much more at this point.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,256

2007-07-06T15:17:00.000+01:00

Another quiet day today. The Queen made a small detour from her EU trip to personally inform me of my forthcoming knighthood in recognition of my work in the field of child welfare. It was gratifying to know that all the hard work behind the scenes had not gone unnoticed! I was so nervous that I couldn't eat my elevenses, beautifully prepared by our resident head chef, Alfonz.

As you are aware, we have been working very closely with children's charities and are pleased to be in such a position to actively promote child welfare and safety. We are now looking forward to developing a global creche and kids' club organisation and will be offering an international competition to give a unique name to the organisation. Details will be on the website, each entry will cost £1.50 with no limits on number of entries.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,224

2007-07-06T07:13:00.000+01:00

We have already begun negotiations with the organisers of the 2012 Olympics to maintain Madeleine's profile at a high level. It was during one of my trips back to London that I was caught up in a major terrorist alert. There was an explosive device on the coach that I was travelling in. Luckily disaster was averted as I managed to take over from the wounded driver and avoid major populated areas of North East London and finally drive the bomb on the bus into an empty airliner. The explosion was terrific! As I was somewhat busy I didn't manage to capture any pictures of event. If anyone has any digital images and video of the explosion, please send them to the website at hero@bringmadeleinehome.com. I should also mention that with some minor help, I managed to save the twenty other passengers on the bus. Dame Eliza Manningham-Buller, the chief of MI5, later said that how I had behaved in the face of extreme terrorist danger and threat to personal safety was a tribute to my devout Catholic faith and an example for others.

Unfortunately during this episode, I lost my Powerpoint presentation, along with a few other personal items. Having driven at speed earlier in the day, and having made up quite some time, it was disappointing to be slightly late for my Campaign meetings.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,215

2007-07-05T22:07:00.000+01:00

It was another difficult fortnight, largely spent having to entertain the extended family during another holiday. We will shortly have to look for alternative accommodation as we cannot manage the Campaign adequately in the cramped confines of the third floor of the Hilton. To this end, our Team Production and Location Manager is working closely with local businesses and charities in order to construct a purpose-built 'McCann Village', just on the outskirts of Lagos.

We continue to gain strength from the tremendous support we have had from all over the world, and wish to thank those continuing to donate to Fund McCann.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,199

2007-07-05T21:56:00.000+01:00

In order to maintain awareness, the Campaign team have decided to change the name of the company from Madeleine's Fund: Leaving No Stone Unturned Limited to simply Fund McCann. Our media team is at work now filming 30 second TV and cinema spots for the global advertising market. Unfortunately due to costs, from next month, we will have to levy a £5.00 surcharge on all donations.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,194

2007-07-05T21:24:00.000+01:00

We have to thank Hilton Vilamoura for kindly hosting our Campaign AGM and providing the excellent 10 course meal and dinner dance. It was a lovely evening, and we met the President of Portugal and all the Ambassadors. I was touched by the thoughtfulness of the hotel staff who all wore Campaign T-shirts whilst serving us. It was at some point that very evening that I had a vision informing me to hold a formal black tie event to auction off some of the Rothley war memorial toys to realise some tangible benefits for the Campaign.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,189

2007-06-19T21:04:00.000+01:00

All fifty-three of the Campaign directors met today to discuss future strategies. We will present these ideas at the forthcoming AGM.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,172

2007-06-19T20:51:00.000+01:00

The official website www.findmadeleine.com has been voted the Most Visited Website of the Year for the third year in a row beating Yahoo and Google yet again! As you can see, we now accept Mastercard, Visa, Diner's card and American Express, traveller's cheques, bearer bonds and of course any type of loose coinage in all major currencies.

You can now also opt to donate your collected Airmiles and Nectar Points to the Campaign for the Extended World Tour planned for early next year. Due to popular demand the already tightly scheduled World Tour was extended by another three months to encompass all five continents. A four disc collector's edition DVD of the Extended World Tour will be available in all major retailers later on in the year. This is very exciting as the run for this collector's edition DVD will be limited to an exclusive 100,000,000 copies each numbered and signed by me. I am so nervous and hope this enterprise will turn out well!

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,065

2007-06-19T20:37:00.000+01:00

The Campaign is running from strength to strength. I am pleased to report that we have had recent confirmation from NASA that Madeleine's picture will be placed on the solid rocket boosters and their parachutes of the next Space Shuttle launch! People's awareness will be raised when the boosters return to earth with a splash!

Kate will have to take some time off from her busy schedule as UNICEF's Child Welfare Ambassador. It has been a real strain for her and she was starting to miss the twins some six months into her new post.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,037

2007-06-19T20:26:00.000+01:00

We can now announce more partners for the Campaign. Our exclusive sponsorship deals will feature custom taglines, slogans and logos, of which I can present a selection here today: Just Don't Do It, like.no.other.campaign, No More Tears, Because We're Worth It, What's in Your Wallet (That's Spare)?, Every Little Helps The Fund.

Team McCann is also looking into partnering with Formula 1 Championships. This was one of the main reasons why the Campaign team name was changed from Team Madeleine to Team McCann and finally the hard work and preparation has paid off! The fund is finally going to benefit hugely in terms of advertising revenues and sponsorship.

Gerry's Blog - Day 1,000

2007-06-19T20:20:00.000+01:00

We marked the 1,000th day of the Campaign today with the release of 1,000 white doves from the Algarve. This was covered by all the major news and television stations. We are already looking forward for ideas to mark day 2,000 and are in talks with our Campaign Manager about arranging something that would be visible from space!

Gerry's Blog - Day 992

2007-06-19T20:13:00.000+01:00

The Campaign is now entering a new phase with Kate's new range of designer jogging and leisure wear featuring a logo sporting Madeleine's distinctive eye and also next week sees the launch of her new and exclusive fragance, Eau de Chat de Caresse. Proceeds from the sale of these items will help boost the Campaign fund, currently standing at a very healthy £14,672,886!

Gerry's Blog - Day 635

2007-06-19T20:09:00.000+01:00

Madeleine will be missing 1000 days exactly one year from now so we are already starting to plan some events to continue to raise awareness on that special day. Tomorrow will mark a very quiet day for the family with Sean and Amelie, with only two photoshoots, a church visit and a family birthday party celebration that will be featured in one of the glossy Sundays.

The Campaign will move up a gear with planning of the World Tour of Europe and the Americas, and we have already lined up a series of pop concerts to punctuate our visits. The twins will be in Portugal as they are still too young with no sense of time or musical rhythm. They still think they are on holiday!